


Spider in the Shower

by My_Hearts_Song



Category: Bandom, Tokio Hotel
Genre: Crack, Explicit Language, Gen, Humour, Silly Fears, Spiders, Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-09
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:19:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Hearts_Song/pseuds/My_Hearts_Song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when Bill found a spider in the shower and asked Gustav to kill it. If Gustav only knew what was in store for him as the "fearless spider killer!"</p><p>Shameless crack with its fair share of cursing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spider in the Shower

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on my account at Tokio Hotel Fiction.  
> Written in 2009, so definitely not my best work, but not embarrassing enough to be my last. Hope you enjoy!

“Gustav!” Bill cried from inside the bathroom. It was shrill enough to have the oldest band-mate out of his bunk and outside the bathroom door in seconds. 

“Bill? Are you okay?” he said urgently. He stared intently at the closed door, thinking to himself he would burst in if he didn’t get a quick response.

To his surprise, the door opened and he blinked. Bill was standing on the other side with a towel wrapped around his small waist, dropped low of his hips so his tattoo peeked out like a naughty child. “There’s a spider,” Bill said seriously.

“A spider?” he repeated, dumbfounded. “You screamed my name because you saw a fucking spider?” 

“Yes, and I need you to kill it,” he said, smiling innocently. He politely stepped out of the way so Gustav could kill the insect. He raised his eyebrow and blinked when Gustav just stared at him. “Well?”

“Bill, I-it’s-,” Gustav sighed in defeat. He knew arguing with Bill that he could kill the damn thing himself would get him nowhere. Just killing the thing himself would get him back to his book faster. “Fine,” he muttered, walking into the cramped bathroom with a mostly-naked Bill.

He grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper, scrunched it up and pressed the wad onto the daddy long leg spider currently chilling out near the soap. Sending Bill an unimpressed look, he chucked the wad into the small trash can. “And he didn’t even fight back, imagine that.” Rolling his eyes, he left the bathroom and an overdramatic lead singer behind him.

~*~*~

Tom, Georg and Gustav sat in the main part of the bus, watching some boring action flick, when Bill came out of the bathroom two hours later. Noticing him, Tom jumped up, his bladder practically singing its gratefulness Bill didn’t take longer. “What the hell took you so fucking long?” he grumbled, already pushing past him. 

“I had to shave my pubes,” Bill said matter-of-factly. 

Georg made a face of disgust, his nose crinkling. “TMI, Bill,” he muttered, looking back at the screen as another car blew up, sending fire everywhere.

Bill just shrugged as he settled into Tom’s vacated spot next to Gustav and wrapped his thin arms around the drummer’s shoulders. “Thank you for killing that spider for me,” he said demurely, nuzzling a kiss onto Gustav’s cheek. Gustav just shrugged his shoulders, dislodging Bill. It was a spider, not an assassin. Not a huge deal. 

“You killed a spider for Bill?” Georg asked curiously. Gustav sent him a warning glare, not wanting to deal with Georg’s taunting right now. 

“Yes, he did,” Bill said proudly, as if speaking about a child who just said his first word. He smiled at Gustav happily. 

Georg just nodded thoughtfully before turning his attention back to the television.

“Who did what?” Tom asked curiously, returning from the much appreciated bathroom.

“Gustav killed a big mean spider for me,” Bill explained patiently. Tom snorted slightly, dropping into the seat next to Bill, but didn’t comment further. 

Bill did though. “Gustav, the fearless spider killer!” he announced to nobody in particular. Sometimes he talked just to hear his own voice. Gustav rolled his eyes, but smiled at his new title.

~*~*~

They all tumbled into the bus after a concert, exhausted but ecstatic. So far the tour was a huge success and the boys couldn’t have been happier.

“I’m goin’ to bed,” Georg mumbled, followed by a huge yawn. His steps were unsteady as he wandered into the back.

“Yeah, my bed’s calling me too,” Gustav said absently. He wandered over to the fridge and grabbed a cold water bottle before following Georg’s path.

“I’m not tired. Want to stay up with me?” Bill asked Tom hopefully. 

“Uh, sure, I guess. I’m going to jump in the shower first though. Sweaty, you know?” he said, parts of it muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head. 

“Yeah, I can see,” Bill said, before grabbing a drink out of the fridge and plopping his butt onto the couch. “I’ll just watch television until you get out, okay?” 

Tom nodded tiredly. He slid his jeans down his legs as he walked, not really caring where they landed. He could just pick them up later. 

About five minutes later, Gustav heard a rustling sound outside his bunk. He ignored it, figuring it was just one of the twins going to bed, not wanting to pull himself out of the sleepy fog he was already in. 

“Gustav!” Tom hissed. The drummer groaned; so much for sleeping. 

He whipped the curtain out of the way, startled to see Tom standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist. “What do you want?” he grumbled. 

“Um,” the guitarist stuttered, bouncing from foot to foot. “I need to you..." He mumbled the last part, too quiet for Gustav to hear.

“You need me to _what_?” Gustav said, irritated. He just wanted to sleep; was that too much to ask?

Tom sighed dramatically. “Kill a spider, okay? There’s a fucking huge spider and you need to kill it!” he snapped. Even in the darkness, Gustav could see the rapidly reddening skin on his neck. 

Grumbling under his breath about those damn spiders, he yanked the blanket off his body like a band-aid and pushed his body out of the bunk with force of will. He marched towards the bathroom as if about to face an army, then killed that fucking spider with his bare hand. He wiped the body onto his pants. Glaring at an embarrassed Tom as he passed him, he finally reached his bunk and fell into it. Seconds later, he was asleep. 

~*~*~ 

The bus had stopped for gas and the band, as well as their security team and a few other people working the tour entered the small store attached to the pumps. 

Georg immediately went over to the adolescent working the register and asked for the bathroom key. The bus toilet had been acting up lately, so they were all told to avoid using it as much as physically possible. 

A minute later, Gustav’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Fishing it out immediately, expecting a call from his mom, he was confused to see it was a text from Georg. Opening it, it simply said, “come out to the bathroom.”

Having to admit he was curious what the hell Georg wanted, he asked one of the security members to get him his favourite chocolate bar, then wandered outside to where the bathroom was. He found Georg waiting outside for him. 

“What is it?” he asked, peering past Georg into the dirty looking bathroom. He was disappointed there didn’t seem to be anything there. For Georg to call him out here, he was expecting a dead junkie or something. 

“Dude, there’s like an entire fucking colony or whatever of spiders in there,” he said, trying for casual but sounding nervous anyway.

Gustav just stared at him for a minute. “Seriously, man, you too? I can understand the twins, but c’mon, man, you too?” He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact the title Bill had given him a few weeks ago seemed to fit. Ever since he had killed the first two for Bill and Tom, every single fucking time they found a spider, they called him, and now he would have to do the same thing for Georg too? He thought he would snap. It was a spider. Not a snake or an angry bird or a tiger. A spider. A little bitty spider that only had the defence of trying to spin a web faster than the hand flying towards it. Why the hell were so many people afraid of it?

“C’mon, just help me kill a couple of them so I can piss in peace,” Georg said, shrugging a shoulder like it was no big deal. Gustav sent him an unimpressed look, but walked into the bathroom. In Georg defence, there probably were about 20 spiders. The majority of them were baby spiders not even the size of a pinhead, but there were still about 20 spiders. Gustav might have even given him the benefit of the doubt and ‘forgotten’ the whole thing. Except, he wasn’t going to know, because it seemed Georg’s idea of Gustav just helping Georg kill them was Georg standing back like a pansy while Gustav wrecked havoc on the tiny community with a paper towel. 

He raised an eyebrow at Georg when he was finished, as if saying, ‘now was that so hard?’ before shaking his head as he walked away.

~*~*~

“All of you are so young by band standards. How does it feel being away from your family for so long while you are touring?” the interviewer asked, leaning closer to the four boys.

“Oh, it isn’t a problem,” Bill said with a smile.

“No?” the interviewer asked sceptically, glancing at the others.

“Yeah, we’re all pretty mature and we can handle being on our own,” Tom said confidently.

Gustav smiled secretly to himself, remembering all those times the three other band members cried out for him like little children because they saw a spider. He figured they still had some maturing to do yet.

After the interview was over, the band was walking back to their bus, quiet with exhaustion. And they still had another concert tonight. 

Suddenly, Gustav stopped in his tracks, staring at the ground in horror. The others noticed and looked at him curiously. “What?” Georg asked, searching the ground for something horrifying. He couldn’t see anything.

“Gustav, what’s wrong?” Bill asked, growing concerned at their drummer just kept staring at the ground with wide eyes.

Tom started laughing then. Bill and Georg glanced over at him, confused. He grinned at them before walking over to the place Gustav was fixated on. He picked up a little worm which had been crawling around. “Is this the problem, Gustav?” he asked teasingly, holding the wiggling creature out. Gustav cringed and took a step back.

The other two band members started laughing as Tom flung the worm away. “Tom, the fearless worm thrower!” Bill declared through his giggles. Tom smirked at the new title and the three of them started walking towards the bus again.

Embarrassed, Gustav followed, thinking, ‘Maybe it isn’t so stupid being afraid of spiders.’


End file.
